Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
