Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
