hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize