she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
