Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
there is glitter all over my balls
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