i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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