We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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