Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
