If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize