i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
