Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
