3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize