Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
