so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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