capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
3pm strippers are depressing
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
