Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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