Porn is love you can see.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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