I'm lost and stupid without you.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
