i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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