I faked an abortion last night.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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