Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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