I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
