My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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