is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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