Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
