I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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