take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
