That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
