AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
