It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
