Porn is love you can see.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
