it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it because I queefed?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
