im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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