Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize