If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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