Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
