if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
