oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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