Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
