the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
