I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize