a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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