I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
