I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
