3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
