Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
