I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
