your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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