I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize