I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
