nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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