Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
