he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
