Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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