now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
